Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Pride goeth before a fall. Or spill.

I enjoy large fonts. I am middle-aged (have I mentioned that recently?) and they are easier to read. Particularly early in the morning when the synapses fire more slowly. 

I have not, however, enjoyed being a large person. Tall? Fine. Obese? Not so much. And, while I know myself as an active and fit person (as I was the first 25 years of my life), most of you know me as a surprisingly active given how overweight I am person (as I have been the past/next 25 years of my life.)

Inspiration to change this waxed and waned but finally solidified when the other important numbers started rising (blood pressure, blood sugar . . . .) So I've been following Weight Watchers for some months now, and have lost 25 lbs. So far.

Yay me! 

There I go again (was that Reagan?), breaking the rules. There are rules about weight loss and the communication thereof, you know. First of all, you are not supposed to mention that you have lost weight. Other people are supposed to mention it to you. 

Actually, other people aren't initially supposed to mention it to you. Directly. First, they are supposed to watch for a while. Because it's very embarrassing to query someone about weight loss, only to find out that they've actually gained 17 lbs this week. Or are struggling with serious illness. 

Then, other people get to say something like "Wow! You look great!" If they are very brave, they may venture further into "Have you lost some weight?" There is some disagreement about this further venture and the politeness of same. See above paragraph. Also consider the opposite query, regarding the baby-bump. Or not.

There are also rules about how the weight-loser is supposed to respond to these varied inquiries and observations. A warm "thanks" is always appropriate. If specifically asked about possible weight loss activity, it may be acceptable to say something like "Well, yes, I guess I have lost a few pounds." Foot-shuffling and a downcast head help project the appropriate modest image that should accompany this acknowledgement. 

It is not ok, though, to loudly embrace your weight loss. Certainly not ok to tell someone just how much you've lost. And really, really kind of gauche to tell someone how much you weighed before and how much you weigh now. 

Those of you who know me in real life will now be noting to yourselves that I have clearly not been following those rules. 

What IS acceptable, though, is to dress in such a way that your weight loss is noted, yea, magnified. Why, yes, yes, I have been wearing the same few dark t-shirts that actually fit me rather well over and over again. Or, why yes, I have purchased an entire new wardrobe to fit my new, sleeker self.

So, with this approach in mind, I dressed for bible study this morning. First colder morning, so I knew I'd have to ditch my shorts (geez, that's the only part of fall I don't care for.) Imagine my surprised and gleeful shock when I pulled on a pair of pants and they just about fell right back off!

Darn. I will have to wear a belt. And, because if I wear a belt and a shirt OVER the belt, it might look like I am 5 months pregnant (because the belt would be sitting on my still very large stomach--this will never leave, no matter how much weight I lose!) I decided to tuck my shirt in. 

Do note, dear reader, that I know I violated yet other rules by tucking in a shirt, too. And wearing a belt that was dangerously close to my natural waistline, as opposed to the more popular near my belly button line sported by my lovely daughter. 

If I had a lovely belly like hers, perhaps I'd do the same. :-) 

So. Belt on, shirt tucked in, pants staying up, I went to church. Feeling very, very good about how I looked, otherwise known as how clear it was to onlookers that I had lost weight. Because losing weight is a sign of inner virtue and goodness, isn't it? 


I was able to wallow in this feeling for about 10 minutes. Then, most likely because I was so busy dealing with my infatuated feelings for my fabulous weight loss (do NOT tell me you haven't noticed, by the way) I neglected to fully secure the lid of my travel mug. Up went the mug to my mouth. Down came the coffee, all over my tucked-in shirt and belt. And I mean ALL over. 

I'm a champion spiller, and truly don't mind doing so, even publicly.  But I just had to laugh at myself for being so obnoxiously pleased with myself one moment then having my comeuppance delivered in such a warm fashion. :-) 

I'll be wearing a tent to choir this evening!


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