Monday, December 31, 2012

Swell unwellness

I am unwell. In the head. Well, specifically unwell in the sinuses. Because my sinuses are welling. Welling and swelling. With what, I cannot, in good taste, say. But it's not good. Oh, no, the welling and swelling is not swell. So I am not well. 

Apparently, when I am sick I feel compelled to channel Dr. Seuss.

I am suffering from an upper respiratory tract infection. This is a fancy way of saying that I have a cold. But saying that I have a cold does not really give you the full image of the depth of my suffering. So I prefer upper respiratory tract infection. 

I might even add an "itis" to it, lay claim to one of the subspecies of same. How about rhinopharyngitis? With an occasional roughness to my usually delicately tuned vocal cords, we could even venture to laryngitis. 

The sudden onslaught of illness is even sadder than it might otherwise be in my incredibly boring life, as I had plans for this evening. (It is New Year's Eve, in case you hadn't noticed.) Social plans. That would've most assuredly included champagne. 

Now, my only shot at champagne is if I can prop my eyes open at 11pm to drive over to T's house in my jammies to join T and M in a quick toast before bedtime. 

Do you hear the violins playing in the background for me? ;-)

Was planning on discussing something deep and meaningful today. But I am constitutionally incapable of doing so at this time. Probably because my skull is full of stuff that is not gray matter. 

Speaking of skulls with unwelcome guests, I eagerly await the torrents of apologies from the wingnuts who were certain Hillary Clinton was lying about her concussion to avoid the Benghazi discussion on Capitol Hill. 

Acute Benghazi allergy, indeed. 

Wait, maybe that's my ailment! Perhaps I am simulating congestion to avoid my hearing on Capitol Hill tomorrow. 

I don't have a hearing tomorrow? In Oak Park or on Capitol Hill? 

Oh. Never mind.

Well, I do hope that I am more well and less swell by tomorrow morning. Perhaps I don't have a hearing. But I do have a baking and a birthday celebration for which the baking must occur, in honor of my son's 25th anniversary of his natal day, more commonly known as his birthday. 

No matter my state of wellness or swellness, I look forward to celebrating that, Hillary Clinton's recovery, and the New Year to come in 2013. Clinks to all!


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